May 05, 2002
Hi. Like alot of you out there, I have experienced an abortion.
I am now 18. I had my abortion when I was 17.
I really don't know where to start.
Well, when my parents found out they were devastated, expecially my dad.
I started having thoughts that I was pregnant when my period wasn't heavy. I was just spotting. So my boyfriend at the time took me to get pregnancy test. I took 6 before I could believe it.
The next day I had my best friend take me to the health department. That's when they told me I was 4 weeks pregnant. I was devastated. The first thing I said was give me information on abortion clinics. See at that time I wasn't worried because I thought "hey its just an abortion, no biggie".
Oh boy, was I in for a rude awakening.
So I told my mom I was gonna have an abortion. She was against it, but she said it was my decision.
Well, I decided to do it. I went about a week later. I was in the waiting room for 2 hours, then I backed out.
So, I went home, and 2 weeks later I decided to go through with it. So, I went to the nearest town. I was in the waiting room for about 1 hour this time. Then they gave me some medication to kill some of the nervousness.
So, I was in the room. Then all of a sudden I heard this real loud vacuum. That's when I knew that there was no turning back. The doctor said it would only be about a 5 minute procedure. All of a sudden I started cramping really bad.
About 3 minutes into it, I thought what am I doing? I wanted to shout out, "stop". But by that time they had already finished.
"Wow", I thought.
I go in the recovery room. Wait about an hour, they give me birth control, then I go home.
It didn't really hit me then. But as time went by, it started to.
My sister had just had a baby, so everytime I was to look at her, it would break my heart. How could I kill my child?
Yes she's in heaven. I say "she" because I just know she would have been a girl.
There is not a day that goes by where I don't think of how stupid I am. I would've given birth this month.
Yes, I commited murder. I killed my child. That's just the facts.
Please, I beg you think things through before you make the decision I have made. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. This I can promise.
* Not her real name
