September 07, 2002
Hi, my name is Tina, and I had an abortion about 3 weeks ago.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was excited, and disappointed, as my boyfriend and I were not planning another prenancy.
We already had 2 children together and as we are both are only 22 we felt we were not ready for another child just yet, but I didn't know what to do my boyfriend was telling me he didnt want another child and I knew he was right, we couldnt afford another child we could barely make ends meet as it was.
So we both decided to abort.
I was fine until my boyfriend dropped me off at the clinic, and then it hit me I wanted this baby. But I thought it was too late to turn back, so I went ahead with the abortion.
When I woke up I was fine. I thought I had done the right thing, and I was fine until about the 2nd day after the abortion when, all of a sudden, everyone I knew just about was having a baby, and it got me thinking about my own baby that I took away.
I cried, and cried, thinking, "What have I done, I murdered my baby. Who am I to decide that my baby didn't deserve to live?"
I hate myself for it, and I think I will for a long time. As the 3 weeks have passed, I have cried myself to sleep every night, thinking about my baby.
Then my boyfriend tells me he wouldn't have minded if I didn't decide to abort, which made me feel alot worse for doing it.
If I could turn the clock back a month, things would be different. I would be expecting a baby. But I can't. What has been done, has been done, and I will live with the guilt for the rest of my life.
Thank you for listening to my story.
