Abortion Story 029: Michelle
Michelle C (Glendale, AZ, USA)
September 19, 2002
Hi, my name is Michelle. I met my boyfriend in 1988. We were working for the same company. He was so wonderful, he always made me feel special.
Then I left the company and we lost contact for a couple of years.
In 1990 we reunited, and began a relationship. We spent every minute we could together. I was so in love with him, and he told me that he loved me, too. We were planning our future together. Things were great.
Then on October 31, 1990 I became pregnant.
We were out together about a week before I took a pregnancy test, and I wasn't feeling well. My stomach was pretty sick. He joked that I was pregnant. So, when I took the test and it confirmed that he was right, naturally I was so happy, I thought he would be too. After all we were talking about getting married.
On Thanksgiving, he was at work and I called him to ask him to stop by after work, and I told him that I needed to talk to him about something. He wanted to know what it was. I said that I really didn't want to get into it on the phone. But, he wanted to know. So, I told him that he had been right, and that I was indeed pregnant.
There was complete silence on the phone.
I asked him if he was as happy as I was, but all he said was that he had to get back to work. After a few days of the silent treatment, I went to his apartment.
He wanted to know what I was going to do. When I told him that I wanted to keep the baby, he told me that he loved me and that he wanted to be with me. However, he didn't want the baby. He said that if I had an abortion that we had a future and we could always have more children. But, if I kept the baby we didn't have a future. He said he had been calling abortion clinics for the best price.
I was speechless, I couldn't believe that he was acting like that. I left and for the next few days, he kept hounding me to make a decision about the pregnancy. So, I finally got tired of it and gave in to his request.
The appointment was set for December 8, and he swore that he would be there. But, he had to work, so my friend took me to the clinic.
I sat in the waiting room, feeling so alone, and wanting to go home and keep my baby. But, I was convinced that I couldn't do it alone, and he obviously wouldn't be there to help.
I was led to a room, to change into a gown, and was told to lay on the table. The nurse was holding my hand and then this male doctor came in and, without saying a word, he started the procedure.
I felt a sharp pain, and then the sound of the machine turning on. It was the most painful thing I have ever felt.
I immediately began to vomit. I felt so empty inside, it was like my heart had been ripped out of my chest.
My friend took me home, and I went to bed. I couldn't sleep, everytime I closed my eyes, I thought about my precious baby.
My boyfriend called to say that he wouldn't be able to come by because he had something to do. The next day, he came by and acted as though nothing had happened. He wouldn't discuss the abortion, or our baby. He was back to being Mr. Loving.
About a week later, he told me that his ex-girlfriend, who had moved to CA, had given birth to his daughter, exactly 1 week to the day of the abortion. He went on and on about how beautiful his baby was, and how happy he was to be a dad.
Our relationship ended soon after that. I sacrificed my son, to have a future with his father. Now 12 years later, I don't have either of them.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about my son. With each passing year I think of the things that he would have done, in his life, that I have missed out on. Each year as his due date gets closer, I become an emotional wreck.
I wish that I had been strong enough to chose my son over what I thought was love.
It has been nearly 12 years since the death of our son.
