September 30, 2002
I was a woman in a affair with a married man. I got pregant he went on vacation.
I didn't give it a second thought. I knew I could not have this baby. I thought I was doing the best for everyone.
I was very open in the relationship, but did not tell him till he broke our affair off.
I had the abortion, with the help of my friend, when I told him he had no feeling about it.
I did not realize that it would affect me the way it did. I cried everyday. I did't want to go to work, or anything. I couldn't talk to anyone, it hurt so bad.
I had to have an abortion when I was 16yrs old. My mother made me and and then we never talked about it.
I am now 27 yrs old, and I am facing past and present abortion. It is sucking the life out of me.
I am now in group coming to terms with sexual abuse, and the fact that I had two abortions, and at the times I thought I was doing the right thing.
I still love the men, and I am grieving for my children that are gone.
I have a set of twins now that keep me together because, without them, I might not have made it.
I am a single parent, and any decision you made you need to be able to live with it, and yourself.
If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have kept my babies.
I feel as thought somebody suffer for my mistake. I feel like I must suffer for what I have done.
I just take one day at a time.
Please remember that, as long as you have breath in your body, there is hope for a better day.
My healing comes through love, support, and understanding the post-abortion sydrome.
It will get better.
* Not her real name
