April 19, 2003
My baby would have been born this past March 2003, but he I know the baby was a boy never got the chance to be born due to the decision that I made and can never take back.
Writing this is difficult. I have tears in my eyes.
At the time that I found out I was pregnant, I was getting high everyday. I had a very young child. She was one year, 10 months. The baby's father had left me, and I was in a deep depression. To make ends meet, I danced.
My best friend at that time Cindy was the only person I confided in. At the time, I remember coming back from the clinic and Cindy knew. Cindy quickly took out the phone book yellow pages and opened it up to the abortion clinic. She called and I spoke on the phone. The appointment was made.
I member Cindy telling me, we all go through it. The appointment was set up in a week.
The father didn't want it, and I felt lost. Drugs helped cope with this. I didn't like feeling the pain.
Cindy told me that she would take me to the clinic. When the time came. No one was there for me. I drove myself there, and back home. I was alone. Cindy told me she was angry, and wasn't there for me, because of my intonation on the phone the night before, so that's why she didn't drive me.
I still see the ultrasound picture the nurse took. I was only 5 weeks when I had the abortion.
My daughter is the only person in my life. I know the baby I would have had would have been a blessing, but I'll never get the chance to see him, hold him, or kiss him.
I regret my decision to terminate. I feel its the woman's decision, but my decision I can never take back.
I'll never know how my baby looked, or the cute faces he would have made.
Please, protect yourselves so unplanned pregnancies aren't as frequent as they are.
* Not her real name
