November 12, 2003
I met my husband in 1992.
Previously, I had been married, and my then-husband and his mother talked me into having an abortion. Even though I recall sitting up with my husband all night saying I did not want to have the abortion. But, I was pressured.
My second husband I also had an abortion. He said he was ready for a child, but when the crunch came, and I was pregnant, he said he would resent the child and was not ready. I had another abortion afraid of losing the relationship.
I had a friend that worked at the abortion clinic who said she would arrange it all. I had no counselling (well, a five minute tick questionnaire).
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I suffer now from a severe hormonal imbalance. I suspect this is from the awful emotional grief and depression I have suffered for years, resulting in a sex addiction, and other behaviours I am not proud of.
I am now forty. My abortion was when I was 29 years old (old enough to know better). I desperately wanted the child. But went against my heart.
If this will help others: No matter what never go against your heart for a man, or anyone else, in relation to your reproduction. The consequences are devastating.
I would also like to say that it's important for all options and consideration to be given when counselling women. I feel that, for both my abortions, the counselling was inadequate, and 5 minutes at the most.
I am lucking to have managed to carry a child to term, and my daughter is 4.
However, I can't have anymore children.
I'm OK now, but took along time.
