March 03, 2004
I found out I was pregnant in March of 2003. I was 20 years old and was engaged. This is something that I never would have thought this would happen to me.
I got pregnant in December of 2002. By February of 2003 I was pretty convinced I was pregnant. I was on vacation with my fiance at the time, and I felt horrible my whole vacation, so I knew something was up.
As soon as I got home from my trip, I made a mental note to go to the doctor. Maybe it was denial, but I didn't go. The only reason why I ended up at the doctors is because I was having problems with my diabetes.
My nurse asked me when my last menstrual was, and I told her in December. I asked if I could take a pregnancy test, and we did, and the test was positive.
I hid my test results. My mom was waiting for me in the waiting room, and I had to act like everything was okay.
My doctor referred me to an Ob/Gyn in my city, and told me I should go.
I made the appointment for the next week, but never went.
That day my mom saw me coming out of my bedroom, upset, and she asked me what was wrong. I told her I was pregnant. It was the worse thing I ever had to tell her, but she took the news well. (I also wished I would have told her sooner. Then I wouldn't have gone through it by myself.)
She asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her I wanted to have an abortion.
That day I got on the phone with clinics and Planned Parenthood, and finally I got an appointment for Planned Parenthood, on April 15th, which was about 2 weeks from then.
I just wanted this ordeal to be over and done with. I didn't want my mom to tell my dad. But she had to since she was going to be the one who took me to the appointment. My dad never said one rude thing to me, I think he just felt bad for me.
On the morning of the 15th, I woke up very nervous and scared. I was mainly scared because I just didn't know what to expect at the clinic.
Me, my mom and my sister went to Planned Parenthood. I go and I do all the paperwork, and they take me in for an ultrasound, and that is when I got horrible news. The nurse told me I was too far along to have my abortion that day (this particular Planned Parenthood only did abortions up to 16 weeks). She told me I was almost 18 weeks.
In the meantime they scheduled me another apppointment at a Planned Parenthood in East Los Angeles, California, for April 30th. That was the longest 2 weeks of my life.
I was devastated.
I took off the time from work, and my mom rearranged her day to be with me. I left Planned Parenthood so upset, I cried. I felt horrible. When I got back to my house my Aunt was there (she was visiting us for a few weeks). My mom told her what was going on and my Aunt calmed me down and told me everything would be okay.
So, 2 weeks later, I go to my appointment at Planned Parenthood. At this point, I am scared, especially after what happend last time.
I got to the clinic early that day and got some of the paperwork started. The nurses were so nice and pleasant to me, I appreciated that so much.
I went in for an exam and for an ultrasound. The nurse told me I was 20 weeks pregnant (which is 5 months).
Previous to that day, my baby started moving around. It was weird, and it just made me feel worse about what I was going to do. With the baby moving around, it made the baby seems so much more real.
After the ultrasound I had to get the Laminaria inserted. I did not like this, and it hurt quite a bit, but the nurse and the practioner were so nice that it made it go by easier.
After it was inserted, I was sent home, and threw up all the way home.
I had to come back the next morning for the actual procedure. Everything went by pretty quickly, and I was taken into the operation room where I was put under general anesthesia, and I was asleep for the whole procedure.
When I woke up, I was in a lot of pain, and I was bleeding alot (which is normal when you have an abortion at 5 months. Also I am a diabetic, so that is normal).
After, I rested for a little while. I was okay to go home. On the ride home I threw up, but I just wanted to go to sleep.
As the days passed, I realized so many things about myself, and I also learned some things.
I wish I would have gotten it done sooner than waiting until I was half way through my pregnancy, I would confided into my mom and dad because I appreciate everything they did for me at that time.
My baby would have born in September, 2003, and it was hard.
It has been almost a year since my abortion. Sometimes I am fine, and then other times I find myself constantly thinking about it.
* Not her real name
