My sweet child, I write this for you so that you can know that I have not, and will not, ever forget you.
I was only 18 when I realized you had come to me. For two months I had suspicions, but denied you. Only after taking several tests, I finally agreed to accept you. Keeping you hidden from the world, you were my little angel. My little secret. I chose to give you back because I wanted so much more for you, and for myself.
I can remember lying on the operating table, and arguing with the doctor when he told me that you were just a specimen, and would be discarded in no time. Damn you! I said. She's more to me then that. (I know in my heart you were a girl.)
Since I gave you back, my heart had been filled with this awful emptyness. I'm 20 now, and today is July 4th. On the 13th, it will have been two years since the abortion.
I want you to know that I think of you every day. And, every day, I am filled with shame and guilt for what I did to you.
I can only pray that, in time, God will forgive me for what I have done. I can only pray that, in time, I can learn to love and forgive myself for what I have done.
For anyone that is considering an abortion, I want you to know that for nine weeks I carried my daughter under my heart. And now for the rest of my life that's where she'll stay.
My precious baby, your mummy loves you!
* Not her real name
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